Sunday, February 15, 2015


Face it. We are all superficial in many ways. But i hafta admit that the reason why i hate taking pictures is because i know that ugly thing will be staring right back at me. Its like i feel that i'm spoiling the picture otherwise. I hate myself because i am not attractive,not sexy, not pretty. 

I sometimes wonder how my frens can look effortlessly pretty always while i'm a blab everytime. Fact is,being around these beautiful people makes me feel even worse. Y m i not as preddy as them?y do i hafta work so hard while some girls just got wad their mamma gave them. Perfection. I'm imperfect. Men dont know how to appreciate me. N it mks me sad n puzzled if pretty girls might come snatching my man away. 


Monday, November 24, 2014

Thank God I found you

I don't know what the future holds. But, really thank God I found you. :)

Monday, March 17, 2014

Dear God

Dear God,

 I've always tried to be good to others and think for others. Sometimes, I even put others ahead of myself. But God, there are just some people who are really selfish and take for granted of kindness....

God, all I ask is that one day when they meet you in heaven, tell them what they've done...How sad did they make this world become....How hard they made life for others....

I pray that they will one day see what they've been blinded on....They can realise how terrible selfishness is....

I once thought maybe I shouldn't be pushed around anymore....But, God, this is just who I am. This is me....I like caring for others, I like helping them....It's just what I feel I should be.

But, I also ask for your forgiveness at times when  I let myself become like them....

If only everyone understands how to give and take....If only.

Saturday, March 8, 2014


How should I begin....

Adulthood used to be a yearning and dream that I looked upon since I was young.

I've always felt two years ahead of my age.

Right now, at this moment, especially these two years,

I feel numb, like i'm stuck and this suspense is really killing me.

Nowadays, my tears flow inside of me...Like golden words that I can never speak.

An agony that flows through me every single day.

That pinch of sadness that makes me really unhappy.

I forgot how to be genuine again...How to be myself.

I feel really stuck.

But I dont know whats triggering the effect.

There's just so much to say that I dont know where to begin.

Adulthood to me is a very lonely journey.

NObody to rely on, nobody to tell you what to do anymore.

NObody to give you advises that helps.

It's just something you have to experience all on your own.

But....nobody told me it would be this hard.

I'm not happy. You're not the man I though I knew...

I made a few choices that changed my view of how to live my life....

BEing an adult takes a lot of patience...

A lot of waiting, a lot of enduring...a lot of understanding and compromising..

Because you see, I come to understand that my life is not just mine alone...

It's no longer just about what I want and what I need ....

The more responsibilities, the more commitment, the more people are counting on me to fight for my life.

A lot of competition, a lot of courage to make my voice heard.

No more mommy and daddy to tell me what to do anymore...

And I dictate my own life and future from now on.

Yet I dont know who I should become....

Can you understand how suffering that feels?

It's like I'm losing myself...and happiness nowadays is just a momentary feeling.

To me, its a really lonely lonely walk.

I'm with a man who doesn't know it at all....I dont know what's going on with him.

Its like his world can never welcome me anymore...But yet patience is the key to resolving this problem.

My dear, I feel like we're two worlds apart...And it pains me to know that we r growing distant day by day...

What about our commitment? I don't feel that you love me sincerely anymore....

My job is something really challenging and new... Its an adventure everyday trying to find my ground thgouh the bruises and bumps.

I'm the only solid wall i've got. All of you may be feeling what i'm feeling right now.

Words unspoken yet buried deep in my hearts core.

I just dont know how I can put it into words.

My life is now a really long phase of growing up... but yet, I'm still only beginning to understand myself.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

The magic of movies

Why does everyone love watching movie? 

Because it has the power to captivate viewers and gives us an excuse to escape from reality.

Life in reality gets really harsh sometimes....

To me, that feeling is really nice to feel coz I forget all my worries and gets into the role. 

I wish that feeling will never end.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Shock bout my kaput body

Today,i tried working out my usual body toning a shock of my life.

My stamina is reli kaput on my lower abs.while the upper still has it's memory,its no longer durable like b4. 

This is reli a wake up call.a year without training left my body so weak n vulnerable. Its time to shape it back n build up my stamina from 0 once again.

Sunday, February 9, 2014


I'm ugly. Because the society brands me ugly. Because my friends term me ugly....Most of all, because i'm almost convinced i'm ugly.

I sit here facing the mirror and staring into my reflection....And inside I feel like crying..

Truth is I'm beautiful too sometimes....:( Why do I look hideous around my friends....

I'm sad because i lost my fitness temporarily. It felt like I lost it all. Felt like i never look good in anything I wear anymore.

I am so specky. and I hate it....But I was born with astigmatism. What choice do I have??! Why do you all think i'm ugly? :(

dunoe how to describe this feeling. That's the reason why i stop taking pictures..... I'm no longer beautiful anymore. I'm no longer attractive...and confident.

I feel sad because of that.

Quotation of the Day